Working With Couples Considering Divorce Essay Example for Free

Working With Couples Considering Divorce Essay The video documentary entitled â€Å"Working with Couples Considering Divorce† is an enlightening presentation about the rigors of divorce which individuals go through. Dr. William J. Doherty demonstrates the techniques he implored in dealing with people who are in a dilemma of resorting to divorce as a solution to marriage problems (Doherty, n. d. ). A couple visited Dr. Doherty’s therapy clinic to seek for advice and therapy regarding their situation. They are thinking of dissolving their marriage which has run for twelve years, and which has given them two children. The husband has already moved out recently and is considering divorce with his wife, who considers it as well. By listening to each of them, Doherty is able to highlight a prognosis of their situation, see its overview and finally treat is as a unit. The couple is able to resolve their ambivalence in their commitment with Dr. Doherty’s six-month therapy in which both of them will try to work on their marriage for six months before making a decision regarding their marriage. The doctor’s manner of dealing with the issue is talking to both of them as a couple, to each individually, taking turns, and then back together. Dr. Doherty is able to demonstrate the importance of communication between couples in resolving the dilemmas they encountered about their marriage – whether to keep the marriage or to discard it. Several couples in the United States encounter the same ambivalence, which often leads to deciding towards divorce since divorce is a common thing and is usually being resorted to most often as an immediate recourse. Couples wouldn’t normally sit down and talk about their differences, and would give up after a few tries. Divorce is usually the easiest way out for several couples in the midst of an assailing matrimonial problem. This is the reason why only a few marriages in the United States survive, and couples are left with facing a new life, a new perspective, and a new dimension as a divorcee, usually battling depression and emotional turmoil as an outcome. This is not to mention the financial losses that go with the divorce process, especially on the payment of alimony on the part of the ex-husband. The video documentary entitled â€Å"Working with Couples Considering Divorce† is able to demonstrate to us that there is a sure-fire way to get out of the divorce parameters, and that couples, given a chance for a paradigm shift otherwise known as a change of view about their marriage structure, would not opt to look at this devastating occurrence. Oftentimes, as couples are carried away with the social bandwagon of divorce in which several married couples ride on so easily, they look at this direction to why not ride as well and view divorce as an immediate recourse for the ultimate solution to their problems. As American society is highly oriented towards individualism, the surge towards divorce is a very likely and favorably convenient option especially if one sees his/her marriage as burdensome or makes him carry several responsibilities. The easiest way is the way out, or so several couples thought. The strong attachment to commercialism is also one factor that may contribute to the rising statistics of divorce in the United States, apart from the strong stances towards individualism as the society’s goal. This leads us into an inference that since couples are inclined towards material fulfillment, several marriages are assailed by this objective and are often lost in the enhancement of their jobs and career, with the marriage and the family left in the sidelines. The fast-paced lifestyle of most American households also holds witness to its link with divorce occurrences, as people are used to resolving issues and problems in a speedy manner and divorce is one speedy remedy for a trembling and unstable marriage. However, the video documentary is able to put forward a conclusion that divorce is not always the way out, and that it is not easy at all. Hence, couples should not view it as the easiest remedy. There are emotional, psychological, and mental investments which couples have invested in their marriage, one of them are their children and the emotional attachment already established in years of being together. Thus, foregoing the marriage out of a more convenient living is not a likely solution for letting people who used to be part of one’s life and are closed to one’s heart slip away that easy. Dr. Doherty is aware of the potential rigors that each of the couple would go though had they considered divorce. It is clear that in the video review, the couple’s problems are not that unbridled or epidemic, nor was there any element of domestic violence for example, which is a very likely rational reason to end the marriage, for both the wife’s sake and that of the children’s. Rather, the issues involved in the couple who visited Dr. Doherty for marriage counseling and therapy only include drifting away of the husband and the wife, making them feel as if they were not couples anymore or were not functioning as such. Hence, ending the marriage through divorce is one solution they both consider. As communication is important in couples in order to find the right solution to their problems, it is evident that the couples had lack of it or seemed to have gone inutile in properly dealing with it regarding their differences. As such, their visit to Dr. Doherty is both a timely and advisable one, since they are able to redirect themselves towards it again. It takes a marriage therapy for both of them to be enlightened about their marriage situation, see it as a whole unit in a positive perspective, and seek only positive remedies that are both beneficial and appropriate for it. The couples are able to undertake this successfully in their consultation therapy with Dr. Doherty. With the therapy, they are able to view the internal causes of their marriage, which slowly but surely drifts apart, see it as a personal obligation and commitment to repair, undertake a fresh way to deal with the dilemma, and finally decide to start anew, not by opting for divorce but through renewing each other’s commitment in the marriage. It is necessary that the couples be guided accordingly on viewing their situation, not merely offering them a concrete solution, but leading them towards seeing their problems individually and as a couple, creating and re-creating a solution for these problems, considering the entire scenario in the decision making, and renewing and redirecting earlier stances into more stable and ground-founded ones. This is how Dr. Doherty is able to lead the couple in dealing with their ambivalence about divorce. Certainly, a marriage therapist like Dr. Doherty always aims for the preservation of marriage, and he is able to do this successfully in the couple through their own analysis of their situation and by being redirected into a different perspective on their marriage. It is clear that Dr. Doherty used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in his dealing with the couple’s problems, which is geared towards modifying cognitions, assumptions, beliefs, and behaviors (Stuart, et al. , 2004). Dr. Doherty is able to outline potential unrealistic and unhelpful beliefs and assumptions which the couple considers, along with trying out new ways of behaving and reacting. This is illustrated in the view that â€Å"the marriage is doomed,† that â€Å"it won’t work out no matter how much we try,† that â€Å"we cannot settle our differences and we have to file a divorce and move on with our new lives. † These perspectives are the perspectives that the couple in the video documentary had upon visiting Dr. Doherty’s clinic, which was then refocused after a thorough therapy of six months. With the six-month therapy, the couple is able to see the importance of their marriage and the significance of nourishing the time of being together through a renewed perspective. Through this, the manner of behaving and reacting on their marriage is changed into a more favorable and beneficial one. The ambivalence for divorce is solved this way though Dr. Doherty’s help. References: Doherty, W. (n. d. ) Working with couples considering divorce. DVD. ISBN: 1-59147-440-X Stuart, R. B. , Broderick, C. , and Gurman, A. S. (2004) Helping couples change: A social learning approach to marital therapy. The Guilford Press.